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Ship of fools: Star Trek TNG’s (socially awkward) Enterprise.

If Star Trek: The Next Generation accurately depicts humanity’s future, get ready for some very awkward conversations. The show’s main characters all struggle socially. Consider:

  • Worf would rather eat you than meet you.
  • LaForge’s best friend is a robot, he intimidates his employees, and he makes out with holograms.
  • Picard can’t relate to the crew unless he’s bossing them around. He only deigns to cavort with his underlings at the series’ very end.
  • Data’s whole M.O. is making social faux pas.
  • Dr. Crusher’s bland bedside manner only reminds us how much we miss Pulaski.
  • Wesley’s a gangly, self-conscious teenager. And those sweaters!
  • Even Riker (supposedly the Enterprise’s smooth operator) can’t sit or stand like a normal person.

I can’t wait for our Star Trek future! Impossibly powerful technology. The eradication of poverty. And… unbearably uncomfortable dinner parties.